For this piece of writing I have focussing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to use a large productive vocabulary across the curriculum (Year 9/10)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal
My Story... It was a quiet autumn night. Scarlett and her friends were catching up and having a bit of a laugh.
"Hey Nadine," Scarlett said while doing an impression of their friend Phil. 'You're pretty new to our school, right?" Nadine nodded. She had only been there for a month and still got lost. She was very lucky to have friends like Scarlett, Phil, and Dan, because they knew their way around as if they had been there for a thousand years.
Suddenly, there was a crash from downstairs. Scarlett sighed. Her cat, Vladimer, liked to play with the pans that hung from the kitchen.
"I guess I should go see what ruckus was." Scarlett said, opening the door and heading out down to the kitchen. "Hey, I'll come with you." Said Phil, putting his hand on Scarletts shoulder. "You never know whats down there!" He said, smiling.
"Okay, lets go." They headed down to the kitchen together. What they saw they will never forget. Vladimer was sitting on the bench, looking like he had just witnessed something magical.
"Oh thank goodness!!" Scarlett said, hugging Phil in relief. "I thought we getting robbed for a second there!" But then she heard the click of a gun.
"What the heck?!" Phil said, keeping Scarlett close in case someone started shooting, "What was that?"
Suddenly, a man stepped out from behind the plastic potted plant that was in the kitchen. Scarlett started screaming but Phil put his hand over her mouth, to not alarm the others and put them at risk too. Unluckily, Nadine and Dan heard the tiny squeal and came downstairs.
"Don't move.'' The man said, his voice a bit muffled as he had a rip off Scream mask on. "Listen man", Dan said, "This better be some sick joke!! Because if it is, stop, its not funny!"
Another figure came out. This time looking female. Then Scarlett heard something and everything went black.
When Scarlett woke up, she was tied to a chair with rope with Phil, in a cage that looked as if the strongest man in the world would fall at it and beg for mercy. The other two were strapped to the sides of another death cage.
"Phil, Phil, are you awake?" Scarlett whispered to Phil as she tried to hold his hand for comfort. No luck.
Scarlett was a claustrophobic, and the environment she was in was just starting to sink in. The bars of the cage were closing in on her, smiling devilishly, baring their iron teeth.
"Scar, are you okay?" Phil whispered, knowing what was going through Scarlett's mind. Nadine started screaming and crying. 'I need to help them' Scarlett thought. But how could she?
"Hello everyone." The man said, emerging from the darkness like a ghost. "Why are you doing this to us?" Scarlett whispered.
"We know your secret, Scarlett." the man said, removing his mask. Everybody gasped. It was their friend, Aleck. All of a sudden the female removed her mask too. Scarlett was in shock. It was Scarletts younger (and very annoying) sister, Tabitha.
"Tabitha!" Scarlett cried. How could her own sister do this to her? "Listen Scarlett," Tabitha said, "I've known since the start about you."
Scarlett was distraught. Now all her friends knew she had a secret, they will stay away from her and never talk to her again.
"Are you listening to me?!" Tabitha screeched, sensing that Scarlett had tuned out. "I want to know... how.. you are a vampire!"
Scarlett looked at her friends. They looked shocked, yet still, in a way, comfortable around her. She breathed a sigh of relief. She won't lose them after all. "Listen Tabitha." Scarlett said, "Have you ever looked at Mum? You were the unlucky one. You are the one who has missed out."
All of a sudden, Dan got really angry. "Let us OUT Tabitha, or you will face my wrath!"
Tabitha snorted. "Why should I?" She quizzed Dan.
"THIS IS WHY!"
All of a sudden, Dan started growing menacing claws, like spears that could rip a knight in the strongest armor to shreads. 'OMG, Dan's a werewolf!' Scarlett thought as Dan ripped through the iron bars and ropes that kept then imprisoned.
"It's over Tabitha, lets get outta here!" Aleck cried as he ran out of the warehouse, screaming like a little girl who's afraid of the dark. Scarlett quickly dailed 111, "Help please, we've been held captive!" She shrieked down the phone. Phil ran towards Tabitha, and pinned her down on the ground so then when the police arrived, they would have their guilty suspect.
Once the police came and arrested Tabitha, Scarlett and the gang stayed the night at Dans. "Well, that just happened." Nadine said, flicking on the TV. Scarlett smiled. Not only did her friends know, but she had a friend like her.
"Who knows whats next in store for us?" Phil said, smiling at everyone.
"Who knows Phil, who knows?"
The End
"Oh thank goodness!!" Scarlett said, hugging Phil in relief. "I thought we getting robbed for a second there!" But then she heard the click of a gun.
"What the heck?!" Phil said, keeping Scarlett close in case someone started shooting, "What was that?"
Suddenly, a man stepped out from behind the plastic potted plant that was in the kitchen. Scarlett started screaming but Phil put his hand over her mouth, to not alarm the others and put them at risk too. Unluckily, Nadine and Dan heard the tiny squeal and came downstairs.
"Don't move.'' The man said, his voice a bit muffled as he had a rip off Scream mask on. "Listen man", Dan said, "This better be some sick joke!! Because if it is, stop, its not funny!"
Another figure came out. This time looking female. Then Scarlett heard something and everything went black.
When Scarlett woke up, she was tied to a chair with rope with Phil, in a cage that looked as if the strongest man in the world would fall at it and beg for mercy. The other two were strapped to the sides of another death cage.
"Phil, Phil, are you awake?" Scarlett whispered to Phil as she tried to hold his hand for comfort. No luck.
Scarlett was a claustrophobic, and the environment she was in was just starting to sink in. The bars of the cage were closing in on her, smiling devilishly, baring their iron teeth.
"Scar, are you okay?" Phil whispered, knowing what was going through Scarlett's mind. Nadine started screaming and crying. 'I need to help them' Scarlett thought. But how could she?
"Hello everyone." The man said, emerging from the darkness like a ghost. "Why are you doing this to us?" Scarlett whispered.
"We know your secret, Scarlett." the man said, removing his mask. Everybody gasped. It was their friend, Aleck. All of a sudden the female removed her mask too. Scarlett was in shock. It was Scarletts younger (and very annoying) sister, Tabitha.
"Tabitha!" Scarlett cried. How could her own sister do this to her? "Listen Scarlett," Tabitha said, "I've known since the start about you."
Scarlett was distraught. Now all her friends knew she had a secret, they will stay away from her and never talk to her again.
"Are you listening to me?!" Tabitha screeched, sensing that Scarlett had tuned out. "I want to know... how.. you are a vampire!"
Scarlett looked at her friends. They looked shocked, yet still, in a way, comfortable around her. She breathed a sigh of relief. She won't lose them after all. "Listen Tabitha." Scarlett said, "Have you ever looked at Mum? You were the unlucky one. You are the one who has missed out."
All of a sudden, Dan got really angry. "Let us OUT Tabitha, or you will face my wrath!"
Tabitha snorted. "Why should I?" She quizzed Dan.
"THIS IS WHY!"
All of a sudden, Dan started growing menacing claws, like spears that could rip a knight in the strongest armor to shreads. 'OMG, Dan's a werewolf!' Scarlett thought as Dan ripped through the iron bars and ropes that kept then imprisoned.
"It's over Tabitha, lets get outta here!" Aleck cried as he ran out of the warehouse, screaming like a little girl who's afraid of the dark. Scarlett quickly dailed 111, "Help please, we've been held captive!" She shrieked down the phone. Phil ran towards Tabitha, and pinned her down on the ground so then when the police arrived, they would have their guilty suspect.
Once the police came and arrested Tabitha, Scarlett and the gang stayed the night at Dans. "Well, that just happened." Nadine said, flicking on the TV. Scarlett smiled. Not only did her friends know, but she had a friend like her.
"Who knows whats next in store for us?" Phil said, smiling at everyone.
"Who knows Phil, who knows?"
The End
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